Don't Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is the Beginning & End of Suffering

Nguyen tells another Zen story: A man seeks knowledge from a master but then talks over him instead of listening. The master pours tea, continuing to pour even after the cup is full, and tells the man that he is like the cup, full of his own ideas so that nothing else can come in. 

There must be emptiness in the mind to create space for new ideas and projects. A calm mind is more open to new perspectives. The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche would go on daily walks and carry a notepad, realizing that some of his best ideas came when he was at peace with nature. Similarly, Albert Einstein played the violin. As Nguyen writes: “Many times, the answer we are looking for is where we least expect it and can only be found when we take a step back to create space for a new perspective” (106).

No one is going to be able to shut their mind off all at once. Non-thinking improves with practice and it is very normal to encounter difficulties along the way. One might worry that they are going to be less productive, but it is more likely that a less anxious person will be more productive, or even realize that rest is no less important than productivity. Eventually, “peace will become your new normal” (109). 

Non-thinking does not mean avoiding reality; on the contrary, it means engaging with reality more directly, without the mind constantly interfering. At work, one can start to put away patterns of thinking such as: “Why does this always happen to me?” and “I’m going to fail” and replace them with thoughts like “is there a better way to do this?” and “what if we tried it this way?” (111-12). 

With more practice, people can not only take a break from anxiety, but direct available energy toward more creative and inspirational projects. Nguyen suggests the use of an “activation ritual,” a morning routine that can be anything so long as it helps one “feel centered” (113). Anxiety will creep up, and so it is important to be patient with oneself, and remember that peace and self-acceptance are always possibilities.

One day, Nguyen asked his partner Makenna why she loved him. She said she just did, whereas he listed a host of reasons for loving her. Her lack of specific reasons bothered him for a while, but eventually he realized, “if I create reasons for why I love her, then it makes my love for her conditional on those specific traits or actions […] this, of course is not true” (117). Love without reason is unconditional; it just is: “This type of love comes not from external reasons but from within. It is the infinite source we all came from” (118).

The practice of non-thinking will not always work, but the reader, having gained the insights, will never be without them. There will be many distractions and other outside influences, and the reader must remember that “everything you could ever want or need is already inside of you” (121). Nguyen thanks the reader for joining him on this journey toward peace and fulfillment and hopes that they not only find joy but spread it to others.